Theatrical Review: The Wailing (2016)

"Comedy, Horror, Police Procedural... we won't soon forget this one."

And here we go again with South Korea dropping another top-notch Crime Thriller on us, only this time, it's got a Supernatural bent to it. We're all about watching Korean Gangsters war amongst themselves, or seeing a Seoul Cop or two trying to track down a Serial Killer, but throw in a Demon, a Shaman, and some good old fashioned possession, and that just takes it to the next level for us.



Director Hong-Jin Na is no stranger to us, as his excellent films The Chaser and The Yellow Sea have long since been a part of our Foreign Film lexicon. When we heard that his newest movie dipped its toe into the Supernatural pool, we knew we were in for something special. Or at the very least, different. Maybe even odd.



The Wailing is definitely all of those things.

Jong-Goo is a bumbling Police Sergeant in a small South Korean village who seems ill-equipped for his job: he shows up late; appears to be afraid of confrontation; and overall, he doesn't seem to have a clue about much at all. After being called to a grisly murder scene, it's obvious that neither he, nor any of his fellow officers are prepared to deal with what they find. Then again, they probably don't see many zombie-like killers with irritated, boil-covered skin, so it's understandable.

YEAH, YOU DON'T SEE THAT EVERYDAY.

Soon enough, more murders occur, each of them involving some sort of sickness that leaves its victims covered in angry, weeping boils. At one point, the Police decide that wild mushrooms are to blame (?!?), but after hearing rumors of an old Japanese stranger who lives in the forest, Jong-Goo begins to wonder; everything was fine before the stranger arrived, and he's shown up at every murder scene to watch the Police work, so there has to be something sinister about him. After a local man swears that he saw the stranger feeding on wild animals, with red, Demonic eyes, that stared into his soul, Jong-Goo is convinced of it.

HE IS KINDA CREEPY...

When Jong-Goo's daughter falls ill to the plague that's been sweeping through the village, he sets out to confront the stranger with the help of his partner and a local Deacon. It doesn't go well. Desperate for help, a suave Shaman is called in to put a Death Hex on the Japanese stranger, as that will no doubt cleanse the village of his evil presence. Add to that a mysterious woman in white, and things go from bad to worse pretty quick.

WHAT IS SHE ON ABOUT?

The Wailing is a long movie. clocking in at 2 hours and 35 minutes. It's a tough watch in that respect, and it could have benefited from a bit of a trim here or there, but even in its over-long state, it's one of the most engaging Thrillers that we've seen this year.



I'm still trying to grasp what the movie was truly about, as some of it makes very little sense. There's definitely an evil presence in the small village which is making people sick and causing them to commit some heinous murders, but then again, there could be more to it than that. I view it as a straight-forward Supernatural tale, but that doesn't mean that it is.



That very mystery had us going the whole time, wondering just who was causing the sickness, possessions, and re-animation of corpses, or if it was anyone at all. The Japanese guy is obviously an evil Demon, but then again he could be a innocent man who is swept up in some good old fashioned xenophobia once things start to go wrong in his new S.Korean hometown; then there's the mysterious woman in white, who seems to delight in tormenting Jong-Goo, and is also sufficiently creepy, so what if she's somehow behind the occurrences; and of course there's something not completely right about the flashy Shaman who shows up and makes a big production out of cleansing the village of its evil...



***BEWARE SPOILERS*** This movie had us guessing as to what in the hell was really going on up until the end, and in the end, we were satisfied. Without giving too much away, there's a biblical element to the movie that involves spirits using human beings for their own ends. It kind of felt like a chess game between good and evil, with Jong-Goo being the main pawn. It was clear to us that the Japanese stranger was a in fact a Demon, and that the Shaman was also one, perhaps even the strangers apprentice. As for the woman in white, we're pretty sure that she was a good entity who was trying to help Jong-Goo. I'm not sure why he was punished (the woman in white's explanation that he had "sinned' made no sense, because that "sin" didn't happen until well into the movie, and by then he had already been plagued with terrible things), but in the end, it was all about his journey.

***END SPOILERS***



Then comes the ending, which wraps everything up in horrific, heartbreaking fashion.

DUDE, SHE'S CONTAGIOUS. BACK OFF.

There's some nasty bits throughout the movie, including animal sacrifices, some grisly murder scenes, and a disturbing, blood-soaked finale.

WELL, HELL....

A sex scene, but nothing gratuitous at all.

THIS MOVIE WAS TOO CREEPY TO BE SEXY.

S. Korea is rife with Supernatural activity. And Serial Killers. And inept Cops.

THE KOREAN TONY ROBBINS.

We really liked The Wailing, and it was a fantastic movie, but it left us with an odd taste in our mouth. I think that its over-abundance of humor towards the beginning caught us off guard, as we were expecting a scary and more serious movie from the get. I think we'd have to watch it again to see how we truly feel about it. It may even go up a half grade or so, who knows.



As it stands though, The Wailing is an excellent Supernatural Thriller, and one that you should seek out and experience when you get the chance.



B+



The Wailing is in theaters (Limited) right now.

Woo-hee Chun is in this.

TV Review: Stranger Things (Season 1)

"The worst thing about this show is that it was over way too quick."

(aka John Carpenter's E.T.)

Release Date: July 15th.

Country: USA.

Rating: NR.

Written by: Matt and Ross Duffer.

Directed by: Matt and Ross Duffer.

Starring: Winona Ryder, David Harbour, Matthew Modine, Finn Wolfhard, Millie Bobby Brown, Gaten Matarazzo, Caleb McLaughlin, Natalia Dyer, and Charlie Heaton.



Stranger Things is a love letter to the 80's. We grew up in the 80's, so the Dungeons & Dragons gaming sessions, the infectious pop music, the rotary phones, and TV antennas felt like a snapshot of our past to us.



In a way, we were the kids in this show. We were way cooler (obviously), but we played D&D, rode our bikes all over the place, and were totally afraid to talk to girls. Alright, fine. Maybe we were awkward too, but we're cool now. We think.



Even though we're going to keep things as vague as possible, mild spoilers do follow.

Hawkins, Indiana, 1983: After a particularly harrowing all-day session of Dungeons & Dragons in which Demogorgon lays waste to the entire party when one of the players rolls a shitty 7 (all you needed was a 13!), four middle school friends call it a night and part ways. One of them, Will, never makes it home.

"HAVE FUN NOT MAKING IT HOME."

Will's mother, Joyce, is frantic the next morning when she realizes her kid never made it home, and heads off to report him missing to the local Chief of Police, Hopper. He, along with everyone else, thinks that Joyce is crazy, because she kind of is, and so they aren't sure whether to believe her or not.

I WONDER IF SHE HAS CALL-WAITING?

Will's friends are worried, and since no one else is making any progress finding him, they decide to take matters into their own hands, and search the woods for him. What they find instead is a little girl in a hospital gown with a shaved head, and a penchant for remaining silent, named Eleven.



And that's all we're saying.

YEAH, THINGS GET STRANGE.

From the get-go, Stranger Things did not feel perfect to us. The story felt all too safe and familiar; the acting was cheesy at times (calm down, Winona!); and even the cast felt odd at first, as most of the kids weren't your cookie-cutter, good-looking Disney types (which was a really good thing, btw); but man did it ever pull us into its world and keep us engaged through its entire 8 Episode run.



Stranger Things is a show that is deeply rooted in the 80's, and not just because it takes place then; it feels like E.T. and The Goonies meets The Monster Squad, with a bit of old-school John Carpenter flair thrown in to make it darker. It also had obvious nods to Alien, and it reminded us of Silent Hill more than once, so really, it's a bunch of things thrown into one big, 80's-centric pot that made us nostalgia in a big way.



Had "Steven Spielberg and John Carpenter Presents" popped up during the opening credits, it wouldn't have shocked us at all.

US, CIRCA 1983.

As nostalgic and comfy as the word of Stranger Things feels, there's a steady stream of darkness and danger that runs through it, which makes it much more than some kid-friendly throwback. The monster is real (and creepy as hell); Eleven is dangerous, and we're never sure just who she's going to take her anger out on; and the proverbial "men in black" are a real threat who kill indiscriminately to cover their tracks and get back what is theirs.



It's all very dire, and as sweet as it can be, it's all very serious.



It was also over far too quick, and it left us hanging on a few plot points that have us really hoping that Netflix gives it a Season 2. Seriously, the waffles!

IS THAT A OUIJA BOARD PAINTED ON THE WALL?

Violence aplenty in this one, but the gore factor is low.

WINONA WENT DARK IN THIS ONE...

There's a bit of sex, but nothing gratuitous at all.

THE PANGS OF FIRST LOVE ARE APLENTY THOUGH.

One of the coolest things about Stranger Things is how it uses 80's music to accent its story. It's like an awesome mix-tape. Our faves were:



Should I Stay or Should I Go (The Clash)

Africa (TOTO)

I Melt With You (Modern English)

Waiting For a Girl Like You (Foreigner)

Sunglasses at Night (Corey Hart)

*GOONIES THEME SONG INTENSIFIES*

Sentimental, intense, nostalgic and creepy, Stranger Things took us by total surprise. It's one of the best things that we've seen all Summer, and we can't wait to see the story continue in Season 2. There's going to be a Season 2, right?



If you have Netflix, stream this bad boy asap.



A



Stranger Things is streaming on Netflix now.

From the I we saw her in Lucas, Winona Ryder was one of my biggest crushes as a kid. She's still beautiful today.

Random Movie of the Week Review: House (2008)

"Not nearly as bad as we expected it to be."

Every week, we sit down, surf through the Netflix and On Demands of the world, find ourselves a random, B-Grade Horror flick that we've never seen, and watch it. Sometimes we're surprised with how they turn out, and sometimes they're just as bad as we expect them to be. 



Either way, it makes for a good time. This is one of those films.



We weren't expecting much from House, as it's a direct-to-video effort that boasts Michael Madsen as its biggest name (we love the guy, but he is in A LOT of bad movies.) Then we saw that it also had Bill Moseley, Leslie Easterbrook, and Lew Temple in it, and that it was based on a book that got some pretty good reviews, so we though "Hey, this might not be so bad after all."



And it wasn't.

After the death of their daughter, Jack and Stephanie decide to go and see a marriage counselor, because they're having a rough time. While speeding along the back roads of Alabama, Jack gets them lost. Lucky or them, local Cop Michael Madsen is nearby to give them directions back to the highway... which involves taking a "Shortcut" down a creepy dirt road. That should work out well.

SOMEHOW, THE CHICKEN IS BEHIND THIS.

Still driving like a jerk, Jack drives over some debris, leaving them stranded with two flat tires on the deserted old road. There's also another car a few feet away that suffered the same fate, which is probably a good sign. Like any rational person would do, they decide to continue down the dirt road on foot, which leads them to the Wayside Inn, which looks like a crackhouse in disrepair. They've gotta have a phone though, right? And probably ghosts.

YEP. GHOSTS.

Turns out that the Wayside Inn is some sort of spiritual way station for evil souls, and those evil souls like to eat troubled souls, or stranded motorists, or some such shit like that. All I know is that Jack and Stephanie, along with another stranded couple, have to fight for their lives against the Inn's homicidal staff, and some creepy dude named The Tin Man, who writes messages on tin cans, and wants a sacrifice before dawn, or everyone dies.



Don't ask.

YEAH, IT'S ONE OF THOSE.

House is nothing you haven't seen before. It's a very typical Backwoods Horror story, that kinda reminded us of Wrong Turn. It also felt a bit like The Hills Run Red, as The Tin Man kinda gave off a Babyface vibe with his mask and the way that he talked, which was cool. There was also a strong hint of Saw thrown in there with the way that The Tin Man wanted everyone to "play his game" and pitted them against each other.



But it's also based on a fairly successful book that has a Christian bent to it, so I suppose it is different in a way. Now, I'm not all about being preached to while I watch a movie, which is why Kirk Cameron and his shitty rapture movies can suck it, but this one was pretty subtle about it until the ending. The part with the white light was kinda neat in a way, and even though it ended on one of those "You have to appreciate the life that you've got" notes, it didn't piss us off all that much.



I know that doesn't sound like much of a ringing endorsement, but trust me; when a movie like this doesn't piss us off, that's a good thing, because so many do.



The cast did a pretty good job here too, with Bill Moseley being his usual, awesome self; and Michael Madsen, Leslie Easterbrook and Lew Temple doing their genre shtick fairly well.

HOW MUCH PIE CAN A GIRL EAT?!?

There was no shortage of violence throughout this one, although none of it was particularly over-the-top; heads are smashed, people are shot, stabbed, and cut. People also bleed black smoke and white light in this one too, so...

A MEAT LOCKER IS NEVER A GOOD SIGN IN A MOVIE LIKE THIS.

No nudity in this one, but damn does Julie Ann Emery ever know how to wear a low-cut outfit to perfection.

GOD BLESS HER.

I'm not saying that House is a great movie at all, but it is a decent movie, and one that surprised us by not making us want to throw the remote through our TV screen. Don't pay to see it, but if you ever find yourself looking through your On Demand menu for something to kill time with, you could do worse than giving this one a go.



C



We watched House on Cinemax On Demand, but it's also available on DVD and VOD.

We had no idea while watching this one that Julie Ann Emery was the chick from both Better Call Saul and Fargo.